by Angelique Shofar, CMT, CYT Director of The Spirit of Wellness

"And yet a woman who has not had an orgasm develops the temperament of an ungrateful snake, she strikes out irritably at every little thing; she is an unpleasant, unpredictable, unrewarding companion in any pursuit."

The sexual myths that have been passed down from generation to generation have played a leading role in the rise of internal pain, suffering, health challenges, conflict between the genders, hostility and the suppression and fragmentation of our real power. We are unquestionably a sexually immature and a sensually underdeveloped society. Sex is a sacred act and ancient philosophy that humans living in modern day society are very confused about. As children, we are fed with information and images that paint the "art of love making" with colors that are dark, dull and shadowy; like a secret forbidden society that dwells behind locked doors with the keys thrown away. Ironically, it is that part of our being that we most fear, and so we most fear are authentic power.

Sexuality is very much a part of who we are, how we present ourselves in the world, what we do, and how we think of ourselves. Our adequacy and our self-esteem are tied up in our sexuality. Once we connect with and understand that powerful transforming energy it frees the earthiness and wildness within each of us. When this clandestine world is uncovered it transcends the mind, liberates the soul, heals our bodies, and sends the spirit dancing ecstatically on the moon.

Tantra is an Eastern path of personal development based on a system of yoga in which there is a union of the male and female principles. Tantra is an eastern terminology conveying the knowledge that a powerful current of energy flows through us all, which needs to be harmonized. The teachings of tantra have been used for thousands of years as a tool to enhance the boundaries of consciousness. Tantra involves embracing all aspects of who we are beyond the physical or visible world. Our sexuality is a major component of our wholeness and to suppress, damage or deny it contributes to a condemnation of our very own existence. To focus on one area of our humanness and reject the sensual celebration of our physical, emotional and spiritual selves disconnect us from the Divine, Supreme Being. A common example is revealed in the physical discomfort we experience through tight shoulders, stiff necks, headaches, chest constrictions and backaches. These are clear indications of the uneven distribution in our energy system. We cut off, starve and neglect the lower part of our body and our energies are stuck in the upper region and in our minds. The lower body is where our creative juices lie and we have no access to them. We create an unhealthy environment, develop diseases and then try to bring life (our children) through that debilitated forsaken space we call our womb. The womb needs healing too!

In the goddess-oriented religions that existed before the spread of patriarchal faiths like Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, sexuality was embraced as a sacred act. In the pre-Chrisitian cultures of Babylon and Egypt, sexual ceremonial magic was an integral part of religious practices. The shift in moral and social values that accompanied the spread of colonial Christianity was dramatic. Sex was not only desanctified, it was thoroughly condemned and the remains of that stale consciousness still exist today as a means of controlling the masses.

"We have to be careful that in throwing out the devil, we don't throw out the best part of ourselves"

As Goddesses, we must honor our vagina. It is like the moon (receptive) and symbolizes the subconscious realm of femininity. It is changeable, moist, seductive and awesomely, magnetically attractive. Everything about the vagina appears to be secretive, dubious, and bewitching. Penetrating this passageway creates new life and unless one has ventured into these realms, one does not belong to the initiated. Females carry a variety of energies in this secret chamber ranging from the internalization of anger, resentment and mistrust to joy, peace and bliss. Whenever we consume food or alcohol, the essence from that in which we eat and drink travels down to that alluring center of creation. It is like a magnet that draws to it, a receptacle that holds in. It is our power center and thus it contains light and electric currents that attract. Whenever I eat something like chocolate (which contains approximately 380 known chemicals, saturated fat and sugar) or any food that is clearly not compatible with my body it is only shortly after that it begins to invade my pelvic region. It is a discomforting feeling and I am reminded that I am not "loving" myself. My pelvic region is the first place that speaks loud through the sensations and movements. This accumulation of foreign, toxic energy builds up over time blocking our creativity and wellness, while manifesting diseases like fibroid tumors, uterine cancer, irregular periods, and hormonal imbalance.

"I love being female, I love being with a man. If I ground my sexual energy, I am here and now, otherwise I'm just roaming. Grounded sexual energy brings peace and nourishment to the soul."

Men, no doubt must pay tribute to their penis in a consecrated way. The penis compares to a great procreative tower guided by two coiled up serpents in a boil symbolizing the active and flaming characters of the sun (active). The penis illustrates the outward masculine energies that seek to merge harmoniously with its natural companion in creating new life and transforming energies. This new life is not limited to a child, for creation takes place in many ways and on many levels. And those who recognize this deep sexual, mysterious world within can be identified by the free flowing energies and the radiance of subtle light that emanates from their body. They glow and stand out through the flexibility in their hips, their apparent groundedness in the earth plane, the softness of their jaws and lips, the gentleness of their touch, the lightness in their heart and the ability to maintain a sense of humor. Only the ignorant are overly serious and identify with unbending thoughts and beliefs that are not originally theirs but were planted by their elders creating bad soil and unhealthy pastures. Look at those who clinch their jaws and turn their eyebrows inward - they are angry and the constrictions run down their bodies and into their power, sexual center. Try this simple exercise: allow your tongue to rest at the bottom of your mouth and away from the roof of the mouth. Consciously allow your jaw muscles to let go. Let your lips soften, parting slightly. Breathe in and out of your nostrils. Let your facial muscles melt. Can you feel the shift? The shift that you experience also takes place in your sexual and pelvic muscles. Let it go! Those who habitually hold on to their emotions have learned to paint their world with dark and saddening colors. Still many continue to be held back by fear, tension and the habits of expression carried over from childhood. Somehow they believe that sex is not supposed to be enjoyed; it is a necessary evil in the marital relationship and an act of mundane mechanics. They are unable to understand the far-reaching benefits of surrendering to the sexual flow of the universe.

"G stands for Growth, Good, Glorious, Goddess. Find the G spot, and you've found your way home."

As an African bodyworker and healer, I come across many women who have sexual blockages. Their bodies speak out loudly through my hands as I work them. I feel the excess heat built up in their second chakra area that pronounces an accumulation of negative chi. In the spinal column, the sacrum is sore, in the thoracic area T9 through T12 and in the lumbar are L1 through L5 tightness and rigidity are palpable. These areas on the spinal column correspond to the sexual organs, uterus and ovaries. The spinal cord's nerve branches out through openings between the vertebrae and connects to the internal organs, muscles, joints, ligaments, tendons and other body parts. The vertebral subluxation, an often painless spinal distortion, can irritate or damage spinal nerves, thus interfering with your brain-body connection and your overall well-being.

Anodea Judith in her book, The Wheel of Life, speaks of sexuality as a life force. She notes that, "Television screens allow our children to watch murders and crime shows but sensors any scenes that involve lovemaking. Those who engage in life's simple pleasures are labeled weak, lazy or self-indulgent." The need for pleasure pushes outward (instead of inward) and people seek outlets in the form of alcohol, drugs, violence, rape, and poorly made pornography to loosen cultural inhibitions. Millions of dollars' worth of advertising are spent to play on our sexual repression. When something natural is taken away, the resulting gap can be used as an implement for control. What's taken away is sold back to us, piecemeal, and we are less then whole because of it.

One problem is that we live in a world where the art of sex is gauged through performance. The sacredness of sex is diminishing while the sanctification of society continues to collapse. There are natural therapeutic methods that can return us to our normal, inherent right to be the sexual gods and goddess we already are. Yoga is a powerful tool; meditation, breath work, bodywork, appropriate exercise and acupuncture can help loosen up the tight constraints and ideas we carry in our physical and mental bodies. As a yoga practitioner, I feel the stirrings of my sexual energies and the calming of my mind through my practice. The Oxford Dictionary defines Myth as: a widely held but false notion. Let us begin by realizing that in order to heal our existence we must replace some of those old ideologies so that can change can take place on a more fundamental level. Sex can be a magical experience. It's out of this world! Look at nature, creation is constantly taking place all around us. There is no holding back, guilt or shame by animals or plants during the mating process. What we call love is really a whole spectrum of relating, reaching from the earth to the sky. At the most earthly level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. We feel one way, but the mind is chattering with the search for logic. Sex is the seed, love is the flower, and compassion is the fragrance. When we are trapped, we do not allow the seed to grow and we remain at an unhealthy earthly level. The fertile grounds are meant to cultivate the blossoming of our inherent creative and sexual powers.

"Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn reverence for life until we learn reverence for sex."

Angelique Shofar is Director of the "Spirit of Wellness,” a holistic wellness consulting business. She is a Certified Yoga & Bodyworker specializing in African Healing Bodywork, Body Awareness & Education workshops and Yoga & Wellness retreats. She is also the executive producer and host of "Africa Meets Africa" on Pacifica Radio 89.3 FM WPFW.